Lesson 3 – Why

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I want to introduce the Why Train to you today.  This is a lesson I learned from a book by Tony Robbins.  I hope he won’t mind that I borrow it here to help my readers as well because it is important lesson that I had used previously but didn’t have a name.  After outlining what I was going to talk tonight I decided to call it the Why Train.

The Why Train is when you find a problem you have had in the past or a goal that you have in mind that you simply ask why.  This is harder then it seems.  Let me explain further.  Let us say that you failed at something.  Failing isn’t really failing remember, it is just a lesson to be learned.  You have the subject at hand that you are thinking about in your mind.  Ask yourself the first why, “Why did I fail…?”  Fill in the blank.  We should use an example to make it easier.

Why did I lose my apartment?

I lost my apartment because I was financially unstable.

This will be a real life example that happened to me so that we stick to some realities of where a person may be in life.  Anyone reading this could be at any walk of life.  I thought I personal example could help to show you a beneficial way of learning to succeed the next time without having to be embarrassed with what you are going through at the moment.  The next step now is to ask why again.

Why was I financially unstable?

I was financially unstable because I bit off more than I could chew with my girlfriend and her kids moving into a 3 bedroom apartment.

Why did I bite off more than I could chew?

I wanted to be the white knight and save my girlfriend and her kids from a bad situation.

Why would I want to be the white knight?

Because I have always thought of myself as a warrior type and relate well with doing well.

Why do I relate well with doing well?  (By way I could have asked why I felt I was the warrior type)

Because I like to help people even while sacrificing my well being.

Why would I sacrifice myself?

Because I do not know how to love half way, it has to love everything which also means protecting those I care about.

Why can’t I love half way?

Because my parents showed me unconditional love and this is what I was meant to do.

Okay, this is where I will stop.  I got a lot deeper than I thought I would.  This was a real situation.  What did I learn from this exercise?  I learned that I was financially unstable because I chose to follow a path earlier than I should have.  That is ok with me because the ultimate reason was correct deep down inside me.  How does this show my financial instability?  I was not doing what I love apparently.  If I am doing something I love I thrive and act upon.

Now that I am currently working on my PhD in school, I have chosen to write both here and a novel I am working on, and I am concentrating on raising my daughter my whole thought process has changed.  By concentrating on my passions that I love so much my change is already taking action.  My goals are now being fulfilled in life.

My question to you is what you learned about yourself.  You must be transparent.  I bet you can guess what your exercise is for today.  I want you to ask yourself why.  You need to answer why at least 7 times to get down to the core of what is going on in your head.  I believe this works whole heartedly and I really hope you do this exercise.  It has helped place me in a better place.  I believe it can help you.

Now get out of here and get writing.  If you are not too embarrassed or too shy I would love for someone to volunteer what they did to the comment section.  This could help others begin.

Thanks for reading and live with action in your life.

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