One important lesson that my parents taught me as I got older was that only I could control my feelings. This is a great lesson for anyone to take to heart. Think about it. A person calls you a name, an emotional event takes place or you stub your toe, you now have a choice. You can be mad and retort to the person who called you a name. The emotional event drives your emotions out of whack. You feel hurt and mad that you stubbed your toe.
I used to let one small event drive my day. I have seen it even in my children. Something small happens and the rest of the day is ruined. Who here has felt that way? Hindsight teaches us that we should not do this. In the heat of the moment it is hard. Take control of yourself and turn events to your favor. People call you a name just smile and keep walking. Feel the emotions of the event but then discuss or talk about how you are feeling, and then move on. This can be among the most difficult because people come from all walks of life.
One hard emotional event is a funeral. In our culture this is a sad time. Many people are around. The most recent funeral I have been to was for my great grandmother. We had a funeral, people cried and hugged. This is natural in our culture. You should feel emotions towards the person who has left this world to go on to the next great adventure. A technique I find useful once the funeral is all done and all the emotions have drained from me is to think of the good things of the person.
What happens if the person who died, you can only think of negative emotions? If you cannot come to terms with a person sometimes it is good to just let them go. If you cannot let them go you should probably find a professional to talk to because you do not want all that negative energy building up. That negative energy can lead to depression, sadness or even anger. It is so important to keep positive in your life because the hard times are hard enough without negative emotion impacting your life.
There are times when we are mad at a situation as opposed to people around us. A stubbed toe can cause this or something totally different. One technique my wife and I use is that we have always promised that we can vent to one another as long as we tell each other that it is the situation not the individual that is the core of frustration. It is important to release the bad feelings so that you can move on with your day to feel all of the wonderful parts of life.
We, my wife and I, constantly communicate. One of the downfalls of my last marriage was that there was no communication. I do not even know if we were actually mad at one another, it was a long time ago, but more at the situations we were in. I had been working night shift. She was going to school. Our bills were constantly behind. We could not afford to do certain things. It always amazes me how money can impact a person’s life in a positive or negative way. Money is only an object or tool. A tool can be used for good or it can be used for evil. I may continue on this in a later article.
People can choose how to feel during their day. We can either be reactive or active. I prefer to be active because it gives me more control in life. I get to make the choice to be happy and successful in my day. If you cannot feel some happiness and success in your day then something must change. Start with your basic emotions and choose to not let others take that away from you.